freud(i)an

i held on as tightly as i could,
letting every touch you gave me
sink deep within my bones,
pressing my fingertips against
your back only to make sure you
were as tangible as my mind
allowed me to (believe).

i held on as tightly as i could,
and still your body wilted away
to leave me lying like a corpse.
your name parted softly from my lips,
and got lost somewhere in the dark, empty
spaces above me
as the smile on my cold face melted
away with the rueful tears i drowed (in).

i held on as tightly as i could,
leaving chains fettering me to
a nonexistant reality; a distopia
in consciousness.
virulent snakes coiled around my
ankles; (hell).