On second thought, I don't. What I need to stop being is FUCKING LAZY. I'm just trying to make excuses for myself - my "pessimism" is usually what gets me up in the morning.
I desperately need to start blogging more often, and get a sliver of my thoughts in written form. Usually when I have an excess of thought I am mentally and physically immobile.
God, I need motivation.
Music helps.
Albums of the day below.
I'm particularly fond of "Everybody's Happy Nowadays".
Every song on this album is remarkable. Today, I think "Friend Is A Four Letter Word" deserves special recognition.
On a completely random side-note, I think people throw the term "I'm bored" around much too loosely. Even when I'm sitting down, staring at a blank wall it takes a while for me to get bored. Blank walls can be really beautiful. They're one of my personal symbols of hope. How can that be boring? I've discovered that people who get bored easily are usually boring ass people to begin with.
Another concept I can't fully grasp are people saying that they "want a boyfriend/girlfriend". Maybe you want some real companionship with another human being whose clothes you're allowed to take off, but fulfilling that desire simply by acquiring an equally confused person to call your boyfriend or girlfriend just complicates things if you don't know the first thing about what it means to be in a healthy, compassionate relationship. (ie: Companionship does NOT mean spending every fucking waking moment together, and basically being stuck up the others asshole. That's called torture/an early death and/or incarceration).
*Those who are desperate to be in a smothering excuse for a relationship are usually bored, aren't they? Yeah, that's right. Go fuck yourself.
I mean, I guess I want a boyfriend who would be just as amused as I am by virtually nothing. Don't get me wrong, embarking on fanciful adventures with your significant other would be ideal too, but I'm waiting for someone who would occasionally sit down with me and hold my hand while we gaze at the aforementioned wall together.
Love is not just looking at each other, it's looking in the same direction.
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
It's too bad that such a person doesn't exist.
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