Avoidance

Food. Sex. Sleep. Food. Sex. Sleep. Food. Sex. Sleep. Food. Sex. Sleep.

Food
Sex
Sleep

Food.
Sex.
Sleep.

Why do I bother writing? Why do I bother trying to evaluate and/or empathize with people and their misdirected feelings (for want of a better word)? It can all be summarized with three simple words. And no, they aren’t “I love you”. Eating too much. Doing all you can to avoid it. Sleeping too much. Doing all you can to avoid it. Sex-addict? Doing all you can to avoid it. Addict? Doing all you can to avoid it. Doing all you can not to avoid it. Doing all you can to find it. Doing all you can not to lose it. Misdirected. I am so misdirected. Money is not the root of all evil. Humans are the root of all evil. Your lives are made up of greed and avoidance. My life is made up of hiding and seeking. Our lives are made up of interest and apathy.

I care because I care because I care because I care because (It’s funny how words lose their meaning once you repeat them over and over again) I care because I care because I care because I care because I don’t have any other fucking option.

I can practically feel my desperation materializing into a tangible object, clawing and clawing and ripping me apart. Everything is exploding around me. Expanding. And things become clear. Then it shrinks. And shrinks. And was it ever clear to begin with? This is life. It comes, it goes.

Food. Sex. Sleep. Sex. Sleep. Sleep. Sex. Food. Sex. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Nothing exists the way it should anymore. I do not exist, but I can't stop trying. No. Wait. I mean. I won't.

Human nature. It's just so goddamned predictable.